The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Buhtt sex?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
