I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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