i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
