Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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