is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
