Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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