It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love having hate sex.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My life is pants optional.
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