I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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