Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
