i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
operation harelip BJ is a go
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
