you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
