Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I deserve this hangover.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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