I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
