She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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