the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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