ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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