i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
