i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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