also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize