Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
