He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
