I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
