worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
