Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
