So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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