either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
