Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
