We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
