you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
