My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
