Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
