would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize