Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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