Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
