Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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