omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize