Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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