i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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