Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize