He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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