Please, let me fuck your mom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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