come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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