I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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