What a fucking waste of an outfit
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
