so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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