I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
