well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
