Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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