Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
