I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize