i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
