I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
