honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
