A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
