i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
