Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
