You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
