bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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