Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize