Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
