It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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