I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
