Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize