He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
