Dual....:-)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
