my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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