I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
