I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
